There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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