i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
