Me too!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
