i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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