i think my mom watched the whole time
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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