I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize