I cut my penus on the lid.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
