U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
