wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
