'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
