Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
