you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
whose parrot is this?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
