its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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