He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
