i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
