worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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