He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
