quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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