I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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