I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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