WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize