i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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