Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
