Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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