Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
