I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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