Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
They took my balls.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
