You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
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If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
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Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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