my sisters under your porch take her home
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
