True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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