tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
