i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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