You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
