And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
