Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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