You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
