I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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