he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize