you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
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Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
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My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize