and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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