$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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