the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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