This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
