he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
