My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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