her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
