He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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