pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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