Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize