Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
