some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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