We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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