if i can run in heels then i can drive
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
