I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
