theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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