Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
