Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
false alarm, still single
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