I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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