Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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