Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
