she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
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Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
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As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
FUCK WHALES
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