im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
