Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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