I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
